The upside of all of that exercise, though, is that my blood sugar readings are just awesome!
And yesterday and today, the hubbub and I have been working on small projects around the house that have just gotten away from us. Yesterday we gave the carport a good overhaul (well, on one side at least), so that my lovely garden swing that I got for my birthday is now available for me to use again. It had been providing a storage place for a quantity of Creative Memories boxes, which were being used for no particular purpose. Now I just have to get him to tidy up the other side - where all of his mechanical stuff is... :/Today we went through our clothes that were stored in our back bedrooms - man, have we got a lot of clothes that we weren't wearing! We had a huge chuck-out - St Vinnies and Lifeline are going to do well out of us this weekend. I haven't started on my summer clothes or shoes yet... now there's another two hour job...
Still to come... another try at tidying up the craft room ... again ... and those summer clothes ...
Just generally taking small steps... baby steps, as Dr Brad the shrink says. Speaking of whom, I had a yarn with him late Thurs afternoon as he was on his way home, and discussed the extra work I'm going to need to do as I lose these kilos, and hence the protective armour I added after the pack rape.
I know I'll be opening myself up emotionally to some dark places which I really don't want to revisit - haven't been there for at least 7-8 years. Have great fears of making myself visible again... :( But either I die, or I make myself visible... I don't know which is worse :(
1 comment:
You're doing great, mate. So good about your blood sugar - woohoo! And sometimes I think you need to go a bit overboard, just so that you remember how that feels - so that you get better in tune with knowing when enough is enough.
Re: 'Being Visible' - it is important to remember that you will never ever again be as vulnerable and alone as you were at the time of the attack. You have learned so much, about the world and about yourself, that those 'dark places' will only ever be a memory, and not something you'll have to experience in real life again. Take it from one who knows. You have truckloads of resources at your disposal that simply didn't exist in those days. So while it may be difficult to deal with the feelings of the past experiences, you are safe now and will never be that vulnerable again. We have too much fun and games yet to be had - we will not allow that to be taken too!
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